California Sucks

Conveys the point pretty well.

Yeah, you heard me right. The reason I can’t work more than 28 hours on average per week at West Elm is because California sucks. I stick by my story! (If you don’t get that reference, I’m sorry. You must not be a Dave Chappelle fan)  Anywho, I’m pretty upset about work because I’m only getting about 15-20 hours a week now whereas two weeks ago I was 15 minutes short of 40 hours. This is a big honking deal to me.  I gots loans to pay and Sallie Mae ain’t exactly the best people to owe money to. They’re probably making my concrete shoes right now in anticipation of my late payment.  Actually to be honest, they’re pretty cool with late payments and stuff as long as you pay within 15 days of the due date.  After that, it’s rocks through your windows in the middle of the night and screeching tires.  So back to my rant which you care nothing about. Why the poop can’t I work more than 28 hours a week? Well according to Williams Sonoma Inc. under California State Law that would constitute full time in which the company would have to offer me benefits. I understand why Williams Sonoma does what they do and apparently it’s like this across the board for retail, food service, etc.  So my question is, why can’t I sign a waiver forfeiting my right to benefits so that I can average more than 28 hours a week? It’s a win win situation. At the tender young age of 23, I could sure use some insurance but I certainly don’t require it for medical assistance or recurring health problems.  It’s a crap-ton of money for piece of mind and living below the poverty line I can’t really afford that kind of extravagance right now.  (Any Barry family member should appreciate that line)  Seriously though, give me a permission slip.  The kind I had to have my parents sign before all of those elementary school field trips.  I’ll sign that trash in a heartbeat if it means consistent hours every week.  Now I have to go out and find some other part time nonsense job to supplement my income.  Poopsauce, I don’t want to go back to Chubway Subway.  I hated that place. There’s only one thing to do at a time like this…

I’m buying a lottery ticket.

Laugh it up but when I win I’ll be the one cackling from atop my ivory tower.  Yeah, I’m buying an ivory tower with my winnings.  Also, one of these.

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One Response to “California Sucks”

  1. This doesn’t make me excited to get out of school anymore…the liquor store better not do that to me too.

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