Archive for March, 2010

100 jobs by May 1st

Posted in Personal with tags , , , , , on March 11, 2010 by Kyle Barry

Keeping with the tradition of challenging myself to do things I don’t want to do, I had a brief discussion tonight over some Chipotle burritos with Emily.  The specifics of this conversation basically were as follows:

I, Kyle Barry, will apply to 100 jobs by May 1st. If I do not meet this obligation, I must provide a free meal to Emily at her choice of eatery or food establishment. If I happen to accomplish this task, but do not receive an employment opportunity, then I am allowed one free meal at the establishment of my choosing, courtesy of Emily.

I really could’ve said that in less words, but I’m feeling grammatically inclined tonight.  Caveat.  There, now this is officially a hipster blog post.  So for the layman out there, I need to get my resume out to 100 different places before the beginning of May.  It’s do-able. That’s about 14 a week or 2 a day.  I’ve already nailed down 3.  Oh, and don’t worry.  I’m keeping a list of everywhere I apply.  There are some more rules of course.

Firstly.  This can include part time work and doesn’t necessarily have to include benefits or any type of salary.  Just another job that pays hourly.

Secondly.  This may be a job that is not related to what I spent a bajillion dollars on at school.  This could be making sandwiches at Subway again, or making some of these.

Thirdly. If I happen to receive an offer at any time on or before May 1st, then it is a stalemate.

So hopefully by May 1st, I’ll be pooping out roses on Easy St. and we can all have a good laugh about how much of a bum I was for 10 months.  If not, I better not even here a giggle. Or next thing you know, I’ll be sleeping on your couch for the next few months.  That wiped the smile right off your face, didn’t it?

This could potentially be the scene of your living room if I don't get a job.


Fizzy Free in Humboldt Park

Posted in Personal with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 4, 2010 by Kyle Barry

Yeah, that’s right.  We’re back on the 30 days kick.  This time instead of a new artsy fartsy picture every day, we (myself and some lucky others included) have decided to give up soda… popcoke…non-alcoholic carbonated beverages for a month. It is straight up no fun. I hate it. I’m miserable without my caffeine and high fructose corn syrup.  However, this was a definite topper to the other suggestion for the month of March, which was: Going vegan.  Might have to build up to that one and/or never attempt that in my life. You know yer boy ain’t eatin’ no tofu, SON.  I know we all have our vices in life, but mine happens to be Diet Coke.  These past few harrowing days have given me a chance to reflect on why I love my sweet fizzy nectar:

1. cheaper than beer (sometimes. Peebers to the rescue.)

2. zero calories (do you know how many calories you drink from regular coke/beer/gatorade/i can’t believe it’s not butter spray? Too much is the answer you were looking for.)

3. caffeine (nuff said, right there. Most powerful drug in the world, last time I checked my opinions.)

4. water is boring. (needs more high fructose corn syrup.)

I’ve also begun to think how I take my liquid gold.  I prefer the fountain coke, thank you. Any fast food joint ought to provide a proper beverage dispenser with a limitless amount on tap, literally.  Unless those greedy goons hide it behind the counter and fill your cup 80% full of ice. Hate those places. I’m looking at you, Long John Silvers.  For those that don’t hog it all, I commend you on your generosity.  There’s something about that instant mix of C2O and syrup that just makes everything right in the world. My backup is the canned variety. Never do I ever go for the plastic 20 oz. Big mistake right there.  Too much drink and it tastes weird out of plastic. Just don’t even attempt it. Apologies to all that have ventured down that awful road.  And if you’ve even had an inkling of a thought about the 1 or 2 liter, litre, leeter? sizes, you’re crazy dude. People that buy 1 liter diet cokes have a serious drinking problem. Also, 2 liter diet coke bottles are terrible. No one can get to through the entire bottle without the last 1/3 being flat and disgusting.  Just no.

This pictorial should be self explanatory. If not, then you lose.

So wish me luck during this terribly frightening venture. I hope I come out clean on the other side.  There’s a small chance I’ll come out on the other end with no dependency on caffeine.  There’s also a chance that I’ll sell all of my earthly possessions and run away to join the circus, but let’s be honest with ourselves.

On a completely unrelated but somehow also awesome topic, I have officially moved into my own place.  I live in Humboldt Park now. It’s awesome. Did I mention how awesome it is? Just checking. I have two roommates who both seem to be solid guys. We haven’t had a sleepover yet where we do each other’s hair, but I have to imagine that will come up in conversation soon.  Just biding my time.  Also, my commute to work is about 13 minutes. That equals sleeping in more, which last time I checked, equals a gigantic WIN. If you are unfamiliar with what I’m talking about, please see the previous post.

That’s all for now, check back in later on. Or whenever you’ve exhausted every other possible form of productivity killing.